At The Risk Of Exposing My Secret Identity.....

If you are familiar with Facebook then I am sure that you have encountered the "name generators". These are the nifty little "applications" (as seen on Facebook) that ask you to insert your real name and in turn they generate a neat little "secret" (for lack of a better word) name. Thus, why it is called "name generators". At the risk of exposing my secret identities, I wanted to share a few of my "secret" names.

If I were to become a stripper (with the economy in the toilet it could happen if my kids keep going to the dentist) my name will be "Tiffany Sparklevelvet". It is an interesting name but hearing the name Tiffany would always make me think of teen sensation of the 80s. (I am not sure if she was really a sensation, but I shamefully admit that I liked a few of her songs)

If I were to become a villianess my name will be Manic Hellcat. I suppose if I get angry enough I could do the name justice, but I was thinking more along the lines of "Crazy-eyed House Frau". (get it? Because I am a stay at home mom?!?!) Although, it would be fun to tell your friends that your mom is the "Manic Hellcat".

On the other hand, if I were to become a superhero my name will be "The Charismatic Inferno". I can be quite charismatic and was a bit of a pyromaniac when I was younger and again I say, how cool would it be to tell your friends?!

If I were to become a pirate they said my name should be "Captain Soggy Beard of the pirate ship Fruity Sailor. It is nice to see that they made me a Captain but if I am going to gain any kind of r-e-s-p-e-c-t from the crew I will have to go with something like "Captain Crazy-eyed Biotch". (you best be fearing the eyes!)

When the Smurfs come calling for the new 102nd smurf, I will join the cast as "Vulgar Smurf". Vulgar?! Me?! Maybe in my younger years but I try to be a good mommy! (snicker, snort)

If and when I decide to take over the job of the Easter Bunny I will become "Cadbury Choco-paws". Let's hope that I don't eat my own my own paws....if that happens I will NEVER get the eggs delivered!

And last but not least, If I am to become part of the Mafia (who am I kidding, I will take the whole damned thing over) you will then know me as "Sammy Crazy Eyes Pistone". (What is up with the crazy eyes?!?!)
If any of you happen to encounter me while I am in the disguise of any of these secret identities, please just smile politely, nod and then walk away.....if you don't I may just have to kill you....no sense in putting my family's safety at risk!