Last Day of 2009

This will be my last post.  Luckily for my 2 fans it is only the last of 2009. ☺  I will be spending the evening with good friends enjoying good food and drinks that will probably cause me to spend the night with my "white knight"....(let's hope not! ☺)  I am thankful for making through 2009 and look forward to new adventures in 2010....but I will never forget the wonderful people that had to leave this world too soon.  I wish you all a very happy and prosperous New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!☼♥♦♣♠♥☼

Dirt Roads

I came across this in an email and I LOVED it!  I could see a lot of truth to it.  I never actually lived at the end of a dirt road but I did grow up in a rural community....the kind where everyone knows everyone!  I also grew up listening to Paul Harvey, the author of this story.  Thanks for the great story Paul!

DIRT ROADS

What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many Dirt Roads have been paved.
There's not a problem in America today, crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more Dirt Roads, because Dirt Roads give character.
People that live at the end of Dirt Roads learn early on that life is a bumpy ride.
That it can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it, if at the end is home...a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.
We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a Dirt Road with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along.
There was less crime in our streets before they were paved.
Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they'd be welcomed by 5 barking dogs and a double barrel shotgun.
And there were no drive by shootings.
Our values were better when our roads were worse!
People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous, they didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy in front would choke you with dust & bust your windshield with rocks.
Dirt Roads taught patience.
Dirt Roads were environmentally friendly, you didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk you walked to the barn for your milk.
For your mail, you walked to the mail box.
What if it rained and the Dirt Road got washed out? That was the best part, then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rode on Daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.
At the end of Dirt Roads, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.
Most paved roads lead to trouble, Dirt Roads more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole.
At the end of a Dirt Road, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.
At the end of a Dirt Road, there was always extra springtime income, from when city dudes would get stuck, you'd have to hitch up a team and pull them out.
Usually you got a dollar...always you got a new friend...at the end of a Dirt Road!


~by Paul Harvey~

A Great Loss Is Mourned

A golden heart stopped beating,

Working hands put to rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best.

The Myrstol family lost it's patriarch on November 5, 2009. 
   David had been sick for a time and we all knew the end was coming, but when it did it was still a shock.  It is strange when you know that someone is gone but it still doesn't seem real.  You will be going along with your day and then all of a sudden the thought of them being no longer of the physical world SLAPS you across the face.  I know that everyone has dealt with death in one way or another, but that doesn't mean it ever gets easy.  It makes you stop and think about many things.  You think...why didn't I spend more time with them while they were alive?  Why didn't I write down every sage piece of advice they ever gave me?  Why didn't I give them a hug and a kiss every chance I had?  Why? Why? Why? 
Well, I for one, believe that even after a person is gone they are not really gone.  They may leave their broken earthly vessel that was their body behind, but they are still with us, always.  They are the whisper in the trees or the invisible caress upon your cheek.  They are the beautiful sunrise or sunset that takes your breath away.  They are in the unexpected hug from a child that warms your heart.  They are the pennies from heaven that you find in the oddest of places.  They want us to know that even though they are gone physically they are always with us spiritually.
 I know that death can be a hard thing for many people to deal with.  Rather than focus on the fact that a loved one is gone, I choose to revel in the epic story of their life that they wrote while they were earthbound.  And believe me, David wrote quite a story.  Some may think he was a man of few words, but when he had something to say.....he said it!  I enjoyed when he would come over for dinner or stop in for coffee and tell stories about when he was a little boy.  Listening to him made me come to realize that I am pretty sure that my children DO get their mischieviousness from the Myrstol side! ;-) Most of his stories usually included the antics of himself and his brother Elmer, but I can't help but wonder if my boys, Gabriel & Rollie couldn't have given them a run for their money! ;-)  Something tells me, though, that David was able to use those brown eyes and sly grin to charm his way out of a sticky situation a time or two. 
  I am sorry that I never got the chance to meet Rosemary, but I know that David loved her very much.  I know that David was very proud of the family that he and Rosemary created.  He was proud of their ranch and it showed through all of their hardwork. I know that he was proud to call Jerry, Jan, Ben and Birdina his good friends.  I know that he worried about his beloved cat Henry like it was his 10th child.....and I also know that David William Albert Myrstol was a great man who was greatly loved and will be missed by many.

                        

We Are AWESOME!

No matter what our kids and the new Generation think about us, WE ARE AWESOME !!!!
OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!


TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
After that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we wore baseball caps, not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
And riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat!
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY?  Because we were always outside playing ... that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
We had no cell phones, so no one was able to reach us all day. And we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play stations, color TVs, Nintendo's, or X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
So if you're one of US, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government started regulating so much of our lives for 'our own good.'
And while you are at it, share it with your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?


The following is Jay Leno's quote:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu, swine flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

Aren't Kids Priceless??

Would you just look at the expression on the ' other ' little girl's face!
That is absolutely priceless!

THIS IS TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand..

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.'

'How about transportation?' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!'

Mental Feng Shui

ONE. Give people more than they ask for.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who do n't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

~~A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.~~

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

 Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now. Have a nice day ..

So folks, always remember to wash your hands after handling money
That's my public service announcement for the day. Thank you very much! - it’s only ‘cuz I care!

Have You Gotten Your Flu Shot?

The First Half of this makes sense, but I like the second half better.


Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.

Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.

Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach. Think about it...When you go for a shot, what do they do first?  They Clean your arm with alcohol...Why?  Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So.......
I walk to the liquor store (exercise)

I put lime in my Corona (fruit)

Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)

Drink outdoors on the bar patio (fresh air)

Tell jokes, laugh (eliminate stress)

Then pass out (rest)

The way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!
My mother always said,  'A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!'

Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much

Caution: May Bring A Tear To Your Eye

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other 20 children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big 'F' at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surpriseTeddy's first grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around..'
His second grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle.'
His third grade teacher wrote, 'His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken.'
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, 'Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class.'
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, 'Mrs.. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to.'
After the children left, she cried for at least a n hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her 'teacher's pets..'
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD. The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, 'Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference.'  Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, 'Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you.'

(For you that don't know, Teddy Stoddard is the Doctor at Iowa Methodist in Des Moines that has the Stoddard Cancer Wing.)

Warm someone's heart today. . . pass this along. I love this story so very much, I cry every time I read it. Just try to make a difference in someone's life today? tomorrow? Just 'do it'.
Random acts of kindness, I think they call it!

'Believe in Angels, then return the favor'

Hell Explained (By A College Chemistry Student)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.  One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls
are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.  As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two  must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.  The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Children's Thoughts On The Ocean

1 - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2 - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3 - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7)
4 - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5 - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6 - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7 - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8 - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9 - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10 - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11 - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12 - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13 - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14 - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15 - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. James, age 7

Afternoon Delight.....

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.


He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
- 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted.
- 'An ambulance just drove by!'
- 'Looks like the Anderson's have company,' he called out.
- 'Matt's riding a new bike!'
- 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'
- 'Jason is on his skate board!

- After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are screwing!!'
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're screwing?'

'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'

Truly heartwarming, isn't?!!??!?! ;-)

Random Thoughts For The day

I have received these thoughts before, but I am crediting Autumn (Autumndaesy) for this hilarious (and sometimes true) fodder since she is the one I most recently received it froms!  Thanks Autumn!  Everyone read and enjoy....I am sure that you will find truth to many! (possibly most of them!)

*I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
*More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
*Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
*I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
*Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
*I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
*The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
*Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
*There is a great need for sarcasm font. { }
*Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*** was going on when I first saw it.
*I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
*How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
*I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
*I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
*The only time I look forward to a red light is when I am trying to finish a text.
*A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
*Was learning cursive really necessary?
*Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say."
*I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
*Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
*My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
*Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."
*How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
*I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
*While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
*MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
*Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
*I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
*Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
*I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
*Bad decisions make good stories.
*Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
*Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
*If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
*Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous?  Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a
 problem....
*You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
*Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
*There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. (This one is way too true!!!)
*I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
*"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
*I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?
*While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.
*I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
*I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
*When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
*I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
*Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
*As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
*Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
*It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
*I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
*I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
*Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
*en under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
*My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
*It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
*wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
*I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
*I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
*The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@st@rd before dinner.

Bedtime....Always Fun!

School is finally in full swing.  Having said that, I think my kids are still on the summer schedule.  Around our house, bedtime is 9:00pm. (My husband wishes it was 7:00)  I have come to the conclusion that if I want my darlings in bed by 9, I'd better start herding them in that direction around 7:30 and then maybe, just maybe things will fall into place.  My children are the masters of distraction.  When I say it is time to get ready for bed, they head towards their room and then shut the door and get lost in the TV.  When they are that quiet I forget (for only a moment) where I have sent them and why but, nonetheless, am enjoying the peace and quiet.  When I finally go back to check on them I get crazy because they haven't done one thing that I have asked.  Seeing the crazy in my eyes they hop to (or pretend to) and get ready for bed.  Apparently they have a condition that doesn't allow them to go to sleep unless I have tucked them in. (and it has to be ME, not even Dad will do at this point...I think it may all be part of their devious plan to avoid bed) After many mooches and hugs and tucks (and I say MANY because if I give an "incorrect" hug or mooch we have to start all over) I finally get out of there and by now it is usually past 9:30.  What procrastinators......(I think I have worked with people with this same condition!)  Funnily enough, it doesn't end there.  After I get them all to bed and have made it to bed myself, there is nothing like the feeling you get when you are just drifting off and you open your eyes and you have your nine year old 2 inches from your face.  She has, yet again, heard noises and wants to sleep in our room.  I tell her that there are 3 other people sleeping in the room with her...if the boogy man does show up she needs only to outrun her brothers and sister that I don't care but she has to sleep on the floor.  I only let my kids sleep on the floor in my room.  You would think that this would discourage them from it......not my kids.  When I get out of bed in the mornings I get to run an obstacle course of bodies.  All of my kids sleep with their blankets over their heads so if I happen to step on someone I can usually tell who it is by the noise they make.  I have accidentally step on a few of them and you would think that would discourage them....not my kids.  And don't even get me started on what it is like trying to explain to the husband why I am "not in the mood".....it is very hard to get the romance going with all of your previous "creations of love" just waiting to question your every move......I can't wait until bedtime tonight....maybe I will start the proceedings at 6 tonight......

Amazing Simple Home Remedies

THESE REALLY WORK!!
1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3.. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. IF YOU ARE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, DRINK A GLASS OF SCALDING HOT WATER....PROBLEM SOLVED

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

Does God Exist?

First off I want to say that I am not a bible thumper (and I don't hold it against anyone who is) and I know that by using that term I am not being "politically correct", but I received this from one of my best friends who is going through a tough time right now and I just wanted to share it with everyone else.  I don't care if you agree or disagree, I just really like the message behind it.

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen...
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.'
'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain!
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.'
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'
'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber.
'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!'
'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'
'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.'
'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS!!!!!!!

Who Doesn't Like Funny??

First of all, I would like to say GOD BLESS AMERICA and all of those who gave their all and all of those that were left behind......I will never forget!

As I said before, I LOVE funny!!  Who doesn't??  Really? Why would you not love funny?  I love telling stories about my family that is humorous (or maybe you have figured that out by now) or about people who aren't family....just about anything and everyone I guess.  ANYWAYS, sometimes I don't always have a great story to tell, but I always have an endless supply of emails that can be quite funny but also the ones that make you just wanna scratch your head and say, huh??  So in the spirit of keeping things funny, I decided to share some of my emails......look at it this way -- you can read the funny on here or I can clutter your email inbox with such nonsense! (I try hard not to get too crazy with the emails...I am sure that people dodge me in public for enough reasons....no need to give them one more! HA) 
****Life is short....ENJOY the funny!****
**********************************************************************

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses.
The results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat...
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and
they wouldn't trade him for the world.
**********************************************************************
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his
name.
"Fred", he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning
instead of a ticket.  The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name.
The kids used to tease me all the time, so I stayed to myself, studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency,and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, M.D.  After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling MD,  DDS.  Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my
Assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Dingaling MD DDS, with VD.
When the ADA found out about the VD, they took away my DDS, the AMA took away my MD, and the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am just Fred.

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Who Knew????

Yes folks....people really do think like this.....YIKES!!!


How would you pronounce this child's name?

 "Le-a"

 Leah?? NO.

Lee - A?? NOPE.

Lay - a?? NO.

Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA.. Her mother is
irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced
 "Ledasha".  When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she
said, "The dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember
to pronounce the dash.
If they axe you why, tell them the dash don't be silent.

Kinda brings a tear to your eye and a lump in your throat, doesn't it?

No Parent Left Behind.....

As I write this I am NOT saying that I am perfect.....I am far from it.  BUT, how can you not laugh at these??  They were written by parents!  I guess maybe they need a "no parent left behind" law!!!! ;-)
 I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud or throw up.  These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.

 Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9.Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor
23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

A Few Of Life's Lessons...

I received an email a while back that was written by a 90 year old woman named Regina Brett. I scanned it and thought it was cute but never really "read" it. I received it a second time and actually took the time to read it. There are few of them that, no matter how hard you try, you feel you might not be able to accomplish but it can't hurt to at least make the effort! I hope you enjoy this as much as I did! Life is short......LIVE IT!!!!

A Few Of Life's Lessons....

1) Life isn't fair, but it is still good

2) When in doubt just take the next small step

3) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone......(amen!)

4) Your job won't take care of you when you are sick...your friends and family will...STAY IN TOUCH!

5) Pay off your credit cards every month (or at least make double the minimum payment)

6) You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree

7) Cry with someone. It is more healing than crying alone

8) It is OK to get angry with God...he can take it

9) Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck

10) When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile

11) Make peace with your past so it won't screw up your present

12) It's OK to let your children see you cry

13) Don't compare your life with others. You have no idea what their journey is all about

14) Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God doesn't blink

15) Take a deep breath; it calms the mind

16) Get rid of anything that is useful, beautiful or joyful

17) Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger

18) It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else

19) When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer

20) Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion; today is special.

21) Over prepare and then go with the flow

22) Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple (mine is the hair!)

23) The most important sex organ is the brain

24) No one is in charge of your happiness but you

25) Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In 5 years, will this matter?"

26) Always choose life

27) Forgive everyone everything

28) What other people think of you is none of your business

29) Time heals almost everything. Give time time

30) However good or bad a situation is it will change

31) Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

32) BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

33) God love you because of who God is, not because of anything that you did or did not do

34) Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now

35) Growing old beats the alternative....dying young

36) Your children only get one childhood

37) All that truly matters in the end is that you loved

38) Get outside everyday, miracles are waiting everywhere

39) If we all threw our problems in a pile along with everyone else's, we would grab ours back

40) Envy is a waste of time; you have all you need

41) The best is yet to come

42) No matter how you feel...get up, dress up and show up

43) Yield

44) Life isn't tied with a bow but it is still a gift

Creative or "Special"?

I love humor. I love funny things, especially things that make me laugh out loud. I will admit that I have been know to laugh at other people's pain (i.e, falling out of a computer chair and hurting their elbow or whacking themselves in the shin or back of the head with a golf club....oh wait, that was me) In the event of "painful" funny I will at least make sure that the said object of humor isn't gonna die before I break out in hysterical laughter. I have a sister who is really bad about laughing at pain which leads me to wonder if it wasn't inherited. (possibly from out paternal grandfather.....he was a funny old coot!)

The reason for my title Creative or Special was due to the fact that my boys were playing dress up and i caught a few pics on camera....(cell phone so please forgive the quality). They were pretending to be monkeys which is why they have gloves on their feet. I had to laugh at Gabriel because he looked like a "chicken-monkey" because the hat that he was wearing made him look like he had a thingy on his head like a rooster!

One story that ALWAYS makes people laugh is the one about the flaming marshmallow. Long story short, we were visiting friends and their friends at their camp. I was roasting marshmallows and Al thought it would be funny to grab the stick I was using. We starting fighting over it like 2 little kids when the inevitable happened. Al let go and it snapped back in my hand which sent the flaming marshmallow at the other end sailing through the great big sky....all the way to the top of one of the other camper's heads. Unfortunately for her she wasn't wearing her hat and it glopped right into her hair!!! We all watched it happen in slow motion....you know how it is --you can see the end result but you just can't do anything to stop it even though it seems like you would have had plenty of time!! (Kind of like when you are running in a dream but you never really seem to get anywhere!) For anyone that was watching me and Al, they saw us drop that stick like it was on fire! I couldn't even blame it on him because he pointed the finger at me first! Looking back on it.........2 grown adults fighting over a stick with a ooey gooey marshmallow on it -- who didn't see that coming??????

P.S....Speaking of laughing outloud -- have any of you ever met my good friend Jenny??!?

Summer's End....Happy or Sad??

With summer coming to close I find myself happy and sad. Happy (very, very happy) that school is starting again but sad that golf will be coming to an end. I have come to look forward to my Wednesday golf night with the ladies. A big part of the fun is spend a few hours with my extremely hilarious sister-in-law Autumn. (yes -- of Autumn Daesy blog fame) Her and I share a unique flair for being able to carry on a conversation consisting entirely of movie quotes. At times not an easy feat but highly entertaining....to us anyways! Some people just look at us like "What the hell are they talking about? Are they high?" Yes. we are high on life....and beer and wine! Beer for me and wine for her...for those of you who HAVEN'T heard the story -- I found out the hard way that 1) wine and golf don't go well together (unless you are an experienced wine girl like Autumn) and 2) I should never attempt to drink Autumn drink for drink! I am not saying that she is a wino or alcoholic.....more like experienced -- (who we kidding Autumn, you could hold your own when drinking with pirates!) I often wonder if I wasn't adopted because I don't have the ability to drink like the rest of my family, but I feel that I am getting better at it! I can actually drink a beer (without tomato juice) and not gag...in fact, I will often have another! Now that I have gotten side tracked by the whole drinking aspect of golf, let us talk about the other part of golf.....safety. Frankly, I feel that Autumn must secretly fear for her personal safety every time she gets into that golf cart with me! (and if she don't she probably should!) The part that I find funny is that no matter how many near brushes with death we have had, she still makes ME sit in the driver's seat! Now that is courage! Women like her should be in the military....I can hear her flash back story to the grandkids now....."Yeah, I was in the war. But I was never more scared then that time when I almost lost my leg golfing with your Aunt Heather. She was a squirrely one....never knew what she was gonna do. I would go left and she would too, in the cart. Always had to be on your toes around her. Sometimes she wouldn't even wait for me to get into the cart before she would take off....or make me scoop up balls from the cart at full speed! You ask why I ain't afraid of the Taliban? Because, Sir, I golfed with Heather Myrstol!" To all of you who

enjoy the game of golf......May your balls fly straight and may you never lose the pink one!!!!

My favorite golf buddy!

My new golf beer!

Yes, Virginia....I Am Still Alive!

Hello again! To all my loyals....yes I am still alive! I don't really have a lot of words to say but I am posting some pictures of what has been happening with us this summer! I hope you enjoy them and I also hope that I will be finding more things to write about...I miss writing my blog!

Gabriel's 4th Birthday

Gabe helping Dad take down the Christmas lights.....in June!

Can you see my black eye?

Madison's 9th Birthday

The swimmin' hole

Slip N Slide

I want one!

The cousins!

The ladies love the cool guy!

Candy Scramble at the kart races!

Vacation sure wears a guy out!!

You Ever Been So Nervous You Wanted To Throw Up?

I felt that way every time I had to give a speech or do a demonstration in school! But this isn't about me, it is about my Emily. Ever since the softball season started this year she has been telling me that she wants to be a pitcher. She mostly plays outfield or second base but last night was THE night! She finally got to pitch for the first time! We were playing against a team that mostly had little girls on it and only the ten year olds were supposed to pitch, but the coaches talked it over and decided that it would be ok for Emily and a fellow teammate who is also 11 to pitch. I think they allowed it because neither one of them had ever pitched before! I think what made her the most nervous was that she was our first pitcher on the mound and didn't have a "guide" to follow! She actually did quite well for her first time! She got a few strikes and managed not to hit anybody. (hey...that is doing good in my book) She almost got a girl out at home plate and she even got a hit that took her to second base! To top the whole night off the coaches only gave out 1 game ball last night and Emily got it! I hope last night was the just the boost she needed to finish out the season strong! Thanks to our game tonight in Livingston I will be missing my first night if golf league....We are so proud of her and we hope she does well! Until next time....

BUSY! BUSY! BUSY!

I hate when I let so much time lapse between posts, but April/May/June is always super busy for us with all that the kids have going on and the end of school nearing! We have been on the go for softball since the end of April and it will last until the 2nd week of June. Two weekends ago my husband, my mom and dad, 2 friends and I went to Anaconda to a bowling tournament. How did we do, you ask? If there had been a trophy for drinking we would have brought home first! Last weekend, we packed up the family and headed to Alberton for our 2 oldest boys' graduation...one from high school and one from 8th grade! (1 outta high school and 5 to go!)

In lieu of all the craziness, I have decided to post some pictures of our latest happenings....I hope you enjoy them! In case I don't get back on here before Memorial Day, I want to wish you and yours a happy and safe holiday!

Our Softball Queen

What up, dude?!

One cool guy!

Emily singing in the Spring Concert

Emily's 1st place at the Art Show

Another fun day at our house...

Blaine graduated! YEAH!!

Graduation after party

Yes, that is part of a potty training seat!(Luckily it was brand new!)

Band-aids fix everything!

Madison's field trip to the zoo

More zoo (shouldn't the monkeys be in a cage? ;-)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Since I will be getting to spend Mother's Day this year in a bowling alley with my mom, I am taking this time to wish all of the mother's (the kind with children.....) I know a very Happy Mother's Day!

I don't know about you all but Mother's Day in my house is a little different than those depicted on television! On TV they get diamond earrings and necklaces. At my house I get a pumpkin plant that didn't even make it home before it got uprooted and died...and I get a vase made from soup cans that holds a beautiful array of paper flowers....and I get a tastefully made T-shirt with designs on it. (as of this post I haven't got to see the shirt yet but was told to act surprised when I get it) I get cards that say Happy Mother's Day in scribbles (you have to be a mommy to able to read it) and I get dandelion and weed bouquets that sit in a glass of water on my kitchen table until I get tired of wiping up all of the stuff that falls off and finally throw them away. (It can be quite devastating when the little ones realize that you have thrown their gift into the garbage) I get homemade picture frames with my kids' pictures in them and I get hugs and kisses.

These are the kinds of gifts that make being a mom special and I wouldn't trade them for all of the diamonds in the world!

Again I say, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all!

Is Something Wrong With My Kids??

Or is something wrong with their mom? Let me explain.....
I was never really much of a coffee drinker until I met my husband. I drink more than my fair share now, but I am not your typical coffee drinker either. I could drink straight black coffee if I was dying of thirst (which if I was you would think that I would opt for something cooler) but find it to be a much more enjoyable experience if I add sugar and cream. (I know that most people say "cream and sugar" but I say it in the order of which is more) ANYWAY, when my oldest child was little she got a taste of my coffee and liked it. After that she thought that she should just have coffee every morning. I would fix it in a sippy cup that was 1 part coffee to 3 parts milk. (at least she was getting her calcium) Well, when Madison came along she had gotten a hold of the sippy cup a few times and she decided that she liked it too. From then on it became a morning ritual to wake the girls up with their "coffee". I began to question this ritual when they started to lay in bed and yell out "Coffee". When people (mostly relatives) would hear the story of how my children drink coffee every morning they would say "aren't you afraid it will stunt their growth?" First of all, I think that is an old wives's tale and secondly, they are Myrstol's.....do you really think it matters Eddie?!?!
A few years later along came Gabriel. Yup, you guessed it....he also acquired a taste for the "java". When Rollie came along, he too has joined in the family tradition! There are days that I watch my youngest play and wonder "I hope that the coffee is not what made him just trip over that blade of grass or make that bad decision to stomp on the cat's tail!" I think maybe that might have something to do with just being a boy! I don't think the coffee (mostly milk) can be all that bad....when we go to the doctor they never ask, "does your child drink a lot of coffee?" I don't see how a little bit of coffee can be any worse than pop or candy. Yes, I am one of those mom's that let her children eat candy and drink pop.....but DEFINITELY not for breakfast....that is when they have coffee!

Here Spring, Spring, Spring! Come on Spring!

In an effort to will positive thoughts to Mother Nature to just allow spring to happen, I have changed the layout of my blog page. I am trying to "Think Spring!" I love daisies, so I was pretty stoked when I found this layout! I think it is really fun and vibrant....just like me! ;-)
I may sound like I am grasping at straws but I need all the positive reinforcement that I can get right now. I would say that I am far from being depressed, but this weather is really starting to get the best of me! I went crazy with a paint brush and starting painting most of the rooms in my house a few months ago. I have many more plans for painting and "spring cleaning" (which is really just hauling A LOT of useless crap to the dump to make room for more useless crap!) but I have really lost my motivation this past week. I wake up every morning with big plans and then I look out the window! I really only need a couple of days of sunshine in a row and I would be back in business!!!!
Don't even get me started on softball.....there should be a rule that games can only be played if the temperature outside is 60* or above! (I know, I know....we will be complaining about the heat before too long) The girls had their first game this past Monday and Aye Chi WaWa!! (I know -- not spelled right but you can still sound it out!) Their game got cancelled last night (Thank God) and the jury is still out for Friday's game.....come on sunshine!!!!!
I have been trying to get the motivation to go paint my bathroom or "spring clean" all day but to no avail. Then about 1 hour ago the sun came out and I felt like I could jump up and get everything I wanted to done and then some....amazing what 5 minutes of sunshine will do for ya! And yet here I sit blogging instead.....I must be screwed up from the time change! (Isn't that what everyone blames there troubles on?!?!) Everyone help me count to three......1...2...3....Here I go!

Yeah! For Happy Hour, I Think.......

For all my Facebook friends that saw my page last night and for anyone else who missed it......I celebrated Happy Hour again yesterday with a good ol' Costco sized bottle of wine. (again) I stopped at my sister's house to visit and we decided that a nice vat of wine was a very good idea. Well, after it took me 1/2 hour to go from 5th street to the Grand to fetch the wine, it really did taste good. I told her that I just wanted a quick glass so that I could get home to cook supper. Well, 1 hour and 1 large bottle of wine later my phone went to ringing! It was the husband! I let my sister answer my phone. When he asked her what we were doing she said, "We are sitting here watching...(a slight pause) absolutely nothing on TV. I should probably mention that we had been listening to music and the TV wasn't on. She failed to notice that little detail before she tried to pull the wool over his eyes! HE decided that he was gonna stuff his pockets with some cans of beer and head on over. WE decided that he needed to go to the Grand and get more wine. Well, he liked the wine so much that I am pretty sure that he drank most of the second bottle by himself. (darn him....that is my favorite wine) We then decided that it would be a good idea to go uptown to pick up some pizza for dinner. A few beers and a couple of pizzas later we were on our way home. I decided that it would be a good idea to stay up for a bit and drink a couple 5 gallon buckets of water (and maybe a few Advil) so that I would wake up human in the morning. (Lucky for me 2 of my kids decided to wake up in the middle of the night.....if nothing else, at least I was able to whiz out a couple gallons of that water I drank) I decided that I would check Facebook real quick and see what was going on! Well, apparently I was in the mood to take 100 of those dumb quizzes that are hardly ever right, but at least now I know that if I ever want to get a part in the movie Twilight or Van Helsing I apparently am a werewolf. If I decide to be a superhero I could become The Flash because it says that I can run at the speed of light. (The people that made up this quiz obviously never had gym class with me) If I were a symbol on a totem pole I would be the owl.....it has amazing vision bringing the gift of insight -- its about time someone besides me realized this. (I guess it could have been worse...I could have been the hyena....what do you think, Ed?!) And last but not least, I found out that if I were and evil leader I would be most like Adolf Hitler, the 2nd most evil leader. I wonder who the most evil leader was......
I also apparently have a deep secret love for Bob Barker because I quoted him. You have to admit, it really is a good message he was trying to send and who doesn't love The Price is Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! or a spritely 80+ year old?!?! If only I were 50 years older I would be all over that!!!!!

At The Risk Of Exposing My Secret Identity.....

If you are familiar with Facebook then I am sure that you have encountered the "name generators". These are the nifty little "applications" (as seen on Facebook) that ask you to insert your real name and in turn they generate a neat little "secret" (for lack of a better word) name. Thus, why it is called "name generators". At the risk of exposing my secret identities, I wanted to share a few of my "secret" names.

If I were to become a stripper (with the economy in the toilet it could happen if my kids keep going to the dentist) my name will be "Tiffany Sparklevelvet". It is an interesting name but hearing the name Tiffany would always make me think of teen sensation of the 80s. (I am not sure if she was really a sensation, but I shamefully admit that I liked a few of her songs)

If I were to become a villianess my name will be Manic Hellcat. I suppose if I get angry enough I could do the name justice, but I was thinking more along the lines of "Crazy-eyed House Frau". (get it? Because I am a stay at home mom?!?!) Although, it would be fun to tell your friends that your mom is the "Manic Hellcat".

On the other hand, if I were to become a superhero my name will be "The Charismatic Inferno". I can be quite charismatic and was a bit of a pyromaniac when I was younger and again I say, how cool would it be to tell your friends?!

If I were to become a pirate they said my name should be "Captain Soggy Beard of the pirate ship Fruity Sailor. It is nice to see that they made me a Captain but if I am going to gain any kind of r-e-s-p-e-c-t from the crew I will have to go with something like "Captain Crazy-eyed Biotch". (you best be fearing the eyes!)

When the Smurfs come calling for the new 102nd smurf, I will join the cast as "Vulgar Smurf". Vulgar?! Me?! Maybe in my younger years but I try to be a good mommy! (snicker, snort)

If and when I decide to take over the job of the Easter Bunny I will become "Cadbury Choco-paws". Let's hope that I don't eat my own my own paws....if that happens I will NEVER get the eggs delivered!

And last but not least, If I am to become part of the Mafia (who am I kidding, I will take the whole damned thing over) you will then know me as "Sammy Crazy Eyes Pistone". (What is up with the crazy eyes?!?!)
If any of you happen to encounter me while I am in the disguise of any of these secret identities, please just smile politely, nod and then walk away.....if you don't I may just have to kill you....no sense in putting my family's safety at risk!